continued...
Natalie took a long hot soak in the tub before her first night back, wanting to be as relaxed as possible, knowing she'd probably need it to deal with everything.She showed up at her boss' office door about half an hour before her shift was scheduled to start.
"Come in Natalie."
"Here's the paperwork."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure. If I stay home one more day..."
"Okay. There will be a few new rules."
Natalie knew this was coming. She also had a good idea what they would be.
"You are to attend a daily Narcotics Anonymous meeting, or if you prefer, an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting daily for the next month, after that we'll reevaluate it. You will be taking a drug test every week. If one comes back positive you will be suspended without pay until two consecutive ones come back clean. Your second suspension will mean you're fired. Any problems with that?"
"No." Natalie knew she had no say in the matter. She hated it, but there was nothing she could do about it.
"I want you on restricted duty this week. We'll start you out on paperwork duty and when I think you're ready we'll add in other duties. You will have to have someone witness your work. I trust you. It's to make sure there are no legal problems in court. I was ordered to make sure someone observes everything." She saw Natalie's expression. "It can't be Grace. It has to be someone impartial. I also don't want you working overtime this week, unless there is a crucial reason for it. You will not have access to the drug locker for the time being."
"And I guess someone will keep a very close eye on all my tools to make sure I don't hurt myself again?" Natalie said trying not to be sarcastic.
"Actually, yes. But not for that reason," Terri quickly added, seeing the storm cloud brewing. "All these terms were dictated to me. I have no choice but to pass them along, and to enforce them."
"I know. I'm sorry. It's just frustrating."
"And this isn't going to make you any less frustrated. You need to take a drug test before you can start work tonight."
Natalie gritted her teeth, "Okay."
"Go down to the infirmary and they'll see to it."
"Okay. After you're done, bring me the results and I'll return your badge to you."
"Okay."
Natalie headed down to take her test. She noticed the looks she got, and saw conversations suddenly stop when she approached. She wanted to shout 'I'm fine. Behavior like this IS going to make me crazy.'
Natalie hated being observed as she filled up the test cup. At least they let her finish in private.
She was happy when she passed the test and took the results back to her boss.
She was NOT happy when she noticed her ID badge was different. She knew she had a lot of trust to re-earn and that would take time.
Grace was waiting in Natalie's office. "Welcome back. Are sure you're not rushing things?" She noticed Natalie's new badge, lowering her security clearance.
"I'm sure. All the paperwork says I'm sane, so I must be," she said lightly.
"You're fine," Grace said, knowing what Nat was doing.
"Besides, if I'd stayed home one more day I really would've lost my mind. I ran out of things to do a few days ago."
"Not much paperwork for you to do right now. The temp was good paperwork wise, but needs work on his social skills. I'm glad you're back."
"Thanks. I'm glad I was missed. So, what's the latest info?"
"Your return has caused quite a buzz. All the usual questions are being asked. And of course they will be trying to get a glimpse of the scars."
"I would love to have some fun with them. Wanna help?"
"What do you have in mind?" Grace asked. She knew how much Natalie hated the small minded gossips both here and at the precinct. She now knew Nat was definitely back to her old self.
"I should go change into my scrubs and then grab a cup of coffee and let them all see what they want, get it over with. Or I could purposely keep them hidden and make them really work for a glimpse. What do you think?"
"Both have their good and bad points. Depends on how quickly you want to get past that part. You do know that if you keep it from them, they'll be even more determined to see them. Which could be amusing."
"Yeah. To see how far they'll go just to get a glimpse. But it will also be incredibly annoying after a while." Natalie thought a moment. "What if I make them work for it until I've had enough, then make it a little easier for them? But not make it totally easy." A wicked grin came over her as she had an idea. "Wanna make a wager on how long before someone asks about them?"
"Sure. How about for lunch?"
"Fair enough. What's your pick?"
"I say two days," Grace said.
"I say a day."
Just then Nick and Schanke walked in.
"Welcome back, Natalie," Schanke said. "What are you discussing?"
"How long before someone asks about the scars. Grace and I made a little wager. Loser buys lunch."
"That sounds warped. But I like it," Schanke said. "Care to do one for the precinct?"
"Sure, why not. I could always use a few bucks. What do you say... five dollars?"
"Sounds good to me. I'll take two days," Schanke said. "Partner, you going to get in on this?"
"I say two and a half days," Nick said.
"I'll pick a day," Natalie said.
"So, what sort of restrictions do they have on you?" Schanke asked. He and Nick had noted the first one, the new ID badge.
Natalie described the new restrictions.
"That sounds pretty harsh, but since you are an important part of the legal system..."
"I know, Schank. I know. What brings you two by?"
"We just came to welcome you back. Get away from the precinct for a little while."
"Let me guess, you're behind on your paperwork again, Schanke?"
He just nodded.
"Apparently I don't have that problem," Natalie gloated. "The temp seemed to be a paperwork whiz."
Nick's phone rang, summoning him and Schanke out to the field. Natalie wanted to go but remembered she wasn't allowed to, yet.
Natalie headed out to the break room to grab a cup of coffee and a snack. She watched all the conversations stop as soon as they saw her. Some people looked away and others looked at her a little uneasily.
Natalie noticed those of that did look at her, most of them were trying to see her scars. Natalie pretended she didn't notice, not wanting to influence their reactions one way or another.
Her coworkers noticed she seemed normal enough.
During the night shift, Natalie had to interact with a few of her coworkers. She was her usual self, ignoring their uneasiness. There were only a couple that seemed to have trouble dealing with her, the rest were uneasy at first but as soon as they saw she seemed her usual self they relaxed around her.
Grace was in the locker room shortly after the first coworker caught a glimpse of Natalie's scars while she was reaching for something. The coworker was relating the details to her friends.
"She has TWO scars on each wrist, one right under the other. One is thicker than the other. I can't believe that she did it TWICE. I guess it was the drugs."
"I'd never peg her for a suicide or a drug addiction. She always seemed happy enough and quite together."
"I guess it's true, you never really know someone, do you?"
"Do you think she'll try it again?"
"Do you think she'll be able to stay clean?"
Grace had enough and returned to Natalie's office.
"I owe you lunch. I thought it might've taken a little longer," Grace said as she entered.
"I thought it might as well, but you know how people are. They love good gossip. What could be better than my turning into a suicidal drug addict? That I'd be the last one they'd expect to do it. And now I suppose they're speculating on if I'll try it again and if I can stay clean."
Grace was a bit surprised and it showed. "How'd you know?"
"It wasn't that hard. It's what would be running through our minds. I KNOW it has to have run through you, Schanke and Nick's mind at least once."
"You're right. It did. And yes, we'd be thinking the same thing."
Later that shift, Nick and Schanke entered Natalie's office. As soon as she saw them she started grinning. They knew that grin and reached into their pockets.
"I should've known I didn't have a chance," Schanke grumbled as he handed over his five dollars. "I'm glad we didn't bet more."
Nick handed over his as well. Natalie happily took the ten dollars and stuck them into her pocket.
"Thanks guys. According to Grace, Kelly saw me as I was reaching for something, and quickly reported it to all her friends, who were asking each other the standard questions, and making the expected comments."
The next afternoon Natalie had to go to her Narcotics Anonymous meeting, knowing that she would be checked up on. It was the only free time she had that coordinated with the time of a meeting, since her return to work. She knew she had a ton of other things she should be doing, but since she wanted to keep working, she had to give up part of every afternoon to attend a meeting.
She parked and entered the building. She found the room and took a deep breath before entering. She helped herself to a cup of coffee and a couple cookies, then found an empty seat.
Before long everyone took their seat and the meeting started. Natalie was immediately picked out as a first timer and asked if she wanted to stand and say anything. She didn't want to but knew she had to. She knew no one had control over what she said or didn't say, so she could say as much or as little as she wanted to.
She took a deep breath and stood.
"Hi. My name's Natalie and I'm a drug addict. Phenobarbital was my drug of choice."
The group welcomed her. The leader, Cassandra, asked "Natalie, do you mind telling everyone how you started?"
She didn't want to, but knew the more cooperative she was here the better it would look in the reports to her boss, and her boss's boss. She didn't know how detailed the report would be.
"I'm not sure how it started. I didn't know I had a problem until I wound up in the hospital. No, I didn't OD, but I'm not ready to go into that yet."
"You did excellent for a first time," Cassandra said.
The group applauded, showing their support for her. Natalie sat down.
The guy next to Natalie stood. "My name's Michael and I'm a drug addict. I started taking amphetamines to stay awake during my long drives. I had an extremely tight schedule and that was the only way I could keep it. I drove long haul trucks. Until my drug addiction caused me to be fired."
After the meeting Natalie went up to Cassandra and pulled a sheet of paper out of her pocket.
"I need you to sign this to prove I was here."
"Okay." Cassandra had signed several of these over the last few years. "You did a good job tonight. I hope you choose to stay with our group." Cassandra signed Natalie's paperwork, noticing that Natalie was supposed to be attending daily meetings, at least for the next month.
"Thanks. I probably will when they don't conflict with my work schedule."
"If you like our group, I can recommend a few other groups to go to for the times where there is a work conflict."
"I'd like that."
Cassandra wrote down several names and times for her and handed her the paper. Natalie took the paper from her, looked over the names and times.
"Thanks."
Natalie left, checking her watch as she did so. She just had time to stop by the loft and hoped he still had some food left. Then it would be time for another shift. She needed to talk to him as he was the ONLY one who knew she wasn't suicidal or a drug addict.
Natalie entered the loft just as Nick was coming down the stairs. He could tell that something was bothering her. Something different from the stuff that had been bothering her since strange things started happening a couple months ago.
"What's wrong?" Nick asked.
"These stupid meetings I have to go to. I have other stuff I need to do then, more important stuff. The only reason I'm going is that I want to work."
She fixed herself a quick breakfast as they talked.
"Please tell me you found a clue."
"Sorry." He saw her heavy sigh. "I won't give up until you're cleared."
"I know. It's just so frustrating."
Natalie arrived at the Coroner's Office and headed straight to her boss's office. She had to wait a few minutes before entering.
"Good evening, Natalie. How are you tonight?"
"Good evening, Terri. I'm okay," Natalie said as she handed her boss the form she had signed at the meeting.
"Very good. One more thing and you can start your shift. Keep this up and you'll be back in the field in no time. And if you can test clean for a month, then you'll only have to take them once a week. And your meetings will be once a week, unless you need to go more often."
Natalie grinned. She realized she'd probably do anything she had to do in order to get back in the field. Even if it was as humiliating as the daily drug tests and having everything she did during her shift observed, all her files were read before they were filed, or released. She couldn't wait for the weekly drug tests and weekly meetings to kick in.
Terri initialed the form and returned it to Natalie. Natalie tucked it away and headed for the infirmary. She waited there for her drug test to come back as the nurse wouldn't let her leave. As soon as the results came back Terri was called. Natalie passed and was allowed to start her shift.
Natalie attended daily meetings and passed her drug test at the start of every shift for two weeks now. She could tell how pleased everyone was with her staying clean. She'd received a pleasant surprise that morning. As a reward she was allowed back out in the field. She still had to be watched. Terry had seen how restless Natalie was doing paperwork only and decided it was best to send her back out to the field.
About half an hour into Natalie's shift, she was called to a crime scene.
Natalie arrived at the crime scene along with her shadow. She accepted it as the price for working. Nick and Schanke saw her and approached.
"Congratulations," Schanke said. "I knew you could do it."
"Thanks. I am so glad to be out of the lab. You know how boring paperwork duty is," Natalie said.
"Yeah, I know," Schanke said.
Nick and Schanke headed off to check out the crime scene while Natalie and her shadow examined the corpse. About forty minutes later Nick and Schanke headed back to Natalie.
"The TOD seems to be about two hours ago. Cause was a blunt force trauma to the back of the skull. I'm sure the rest of the beating didn't help matters any. He's mid thirties."
"His name's Brian Thomas. He worked for Baker, Holland and Thomas. He'd recently been made a partner in the law firm," Nick said.
"That's young," Natalie said.
"Yeah. It seems he excelled on a few high profile cases and the partners were impressed," Schanke said.
Natalie continued to do well back on full duty, but hated having someone watching her every move, checking everything she did. The fact she was getting used to it unnerved her a little. At first her shadow didn't have much to do with Natalie when they weren't in the middle of someone, a crime scene or paperwork. Over the weeks Natalie's personality made it hard for her to keep to herself so much. She liked Natalie. She found herself straddling that fine line between her duty and friendship. Their discussions during autopsies and during the slow times had showed Chris Natalie was indeed one of the best and the brightest they had. After about a week she found it harder and harder not to respond when Natalie needed someone to bounce ideas off of. On a difficult case, she gave in. Natalie needed to bounce her ideas off someone and she had a few comments to make. They both grew to like that part of their forced partnership.
It was time for Natalie's weekly drug test. She had to pass it before she would be allowed to start her shift. She headed straight for the infirmary and took the test. She headed for her office believing it would turn out to be negative just like every one for the past month had been.
Natalie had opened the first file in the stack on her desk when Terri came in.
"Natalie, you're suspended until the next two drug tests come back clean."
"What?" Natalie said stunned.
"You promised me you'd stay clean. I believed you. I thought you'd be the one that wouldn't slip."
Natalie didn't know what to say. Grace entered just in time to hear Terri's last sentence. She saw the surprise on Natalie's face.
"Natalie?" Grace asked, hoping her suspicions were wrong.
Natalie heard the disappointment in her friend's voice and it hurt. "I'll see you later, Grace."
"We WILL talk about this after work. Your place or mine?"
"Might as well be mine," Natalie said as she grabbed her coat and purse and left her office.
Terri escorted Natalie to the door.
"I want you attending daily meetings, and getting the sheet signed like last time." Terry pulled the sheet from her pocket and handed it to Natalie.
Natalie took the form and reluctantly removed her badge and laid it across her boss's palm.
Some time later, Nick and Schanke entered Natalie's office to find her and were surprised to see it empty. They went to find Grace.
"Where's Natalie?" Nick asked a little concerned.
"You didn't hear?" Grace asked surprised.
"Hear what?" Nick asked, his concern growing.
"She's been suspended. Her drug test came back positive."
"No," Nick said, his surprise coming through in his voice.
"I was sure she had beaten it," Grace said.
"Same here," Schanke said. "Nick, you didn't know?"
"No. I hadn't seen any signs of it." Nick knew that Natalie would need to talk to him. "Schanke, I'm going to go see her. Will you cover for me?"
"Sure. Let us know what's happening, okay? We're worried about her."
"I will."
Nick left and flew straight to Natalie's apartment building, landing in the shadows behind it. He walked around front and used his key to enter the building. From there he headed straight up to her apartment.
Nick knocked on her door and focused his senses on the inside of the apartment. He was a little relieved when he heard a strong, steady heartbeat coming from the other side of the door. A moment later the door opened, startling him slightly.
He gave her a quick once over as he entered. He didn't detect the scent of fresh blood and was relieved. He did see the barely contained fury in her eyes.
Nick quickly swept her apartment for any listening devices and found none.
"Nick, we have to get the bastards! It was bad enough when they messed with me, but now they're destroying my career! I worked too hard to let them get away with that!" Her fury came through.
"We will. I promise. I heard you were suspended. What happened?"
"Somehow they slipped me something again. I don't feel tired like last time. Could they have used something different? Could I be used to it?" Natalie thought a moment and asked, "Could you tell?"
"I probably can."
Nick waited for Natalie to hold out her hand to him. He took hold of her hand and kissed the back of it before allowing his fangs to drop. He pierced her pinky finger and drew out a few drops of blood. She winced slightly when his fang pierced her finger. He licked the wound to close it. He studied the blood for several moments.
"It seems to be the same as last time. What was it? Phenobarbital?"
"Yeah. Damn!"
Nick took Natalie in his arms and held her, seeing how much she needed it.
"How are we going to find out why someone's trying to destroy my life? And who?"
"They have to screw up at some point. Even if it's just a small slip up, it will be a starting point. And the notebook you're keeping will help. Sooner or later we'll find something that will help us link it all together."
"I'd prefer sooner."
"I know."
That morning Natalie had just finished the dishes when there was a knock on the door. She checked to see who was there before she opened the door.
"Hi, Grace. Come in."
Grace entered and the two women headed for the couch.
"Natalie, what happened? I was so sure you'd be fine. I knew there would be temptations, but figured you'd be able to handle them. Or at least call one of us is you needed to talk."
"I don't know what happened. I was as surprised as you by the test result."
"Surprised it was positive... or surprised you got caught? You should've known, not only because it's your body, but you're a doctor. I'm worried about you. I don't want to see you on your own autopsy table."
"Thanks for the concern. I'm glad to know you're still my friend. Believe me, I don't want to wind up there either." She saw Grace's glare. "I was surprised by the results."
"Have you been clean?"
"Yes. I took a painkiller one day last week when my knee was killing me, and a few days ago for a killer headache. But nothing other than that."
Grace wasn't sure what to believe. She was pretty sure her friend would pick ones that wouldn't show up on a drug screen.
"I know you're unsure if I'm telling the truth. I'd be feeling same way if our positions were reversed. Yes, I'll go to my meetings. I'll do my best to stay clean."
"I know that's the best you can offer. It's good enough, for now. You hungry?"
"Yeah. How about I make us something?"
"Why don't we go out. No sense in messing up your kitchen. Especially since you just finished cleaning it."
"If that's what you want. Any favorite place?" Natalie asked.
"How about Chan's?"
"Sounds good. Let's go."
Inside Chan's, Natalie and Grace were shown to a table and handed menus. They went ahead and placed their orders.
"What are you going to do with your time off?" Grace asked.
"I don't know."
Grace couldn't tell if Natalie was clean or not. She didn't seem like she was on drugs. She had a healthy appetite. Then again, she didn't think Natalie was on drugs before her recent hospitalization.
"If I didn't have to go to daily meetings, I might consider a trip. Maybe see if I could drag Nick with me. No, I don't know exactly where I'd go. I think it would depend on if Nick was with me or not." Natalie continued, "The weekly tests make a trip unlikely."
Natalie spent the next week working with Nick during the day to find the person responsible. They were frustrated by the lack of any leads. Everything pointed nowhere. They both lost their tempers, not with each other, but with their lack of progress. Nick made sure to keep an ample supply of fresh coffee and dark chocolate at the loft as it soothed her. They ate home cooked food the entire week. Everything came from a sealed can or package from a grocery store. Natalie went to her daily meetings and made sure her paper was signed by the leader.
Natalie was dressed and ready to leave for her drug test. She stopped on her way out.
"Nick, would you check, so I won't have any surprises?"
He nodded and took her offered pinky, kissing it before nipping it with a fang and taking a drop. He then licked it until it healed. He examined the blood.
"It's clean."
"Thanks."
Natalie entered the main door of the Coroner's Office and was escorted to the infirmary. She underwent the drug test and had to remain there until the results came back. She was pleased when she passed, as were Grace and Terri, both of whom stopped by to get the results.
"Congratulations," both women said.
"Thanks."
"Natalie, I need to see your sign in sheet," Terri said.
Natalie handed it to her. Terri examined it and handed it back.
"I don't need to call and verify this, right?"
"No. I said I'd go, and I did. I even shared each time."
"Very good. Keep this up and you'll be back at work after the second test, if it is negative as well."
All three women left together.
"Natalie, dinner tonight?" Grace asked.
"Sure, want me to pick you up or do you want to stop by?"
"I'll pick you up, in case I have to work late."
"Sounds good." Natalie wondered if Grace didn't want to ride with her.
As the three women approached the door, Nick and Schanke entered. Terri left. Grace stayed as someone had to escort Natalie while she was inside.
"Natalie, what are you doing here? I thought you'd been suspended," Schanke said.
"I have been. I had to take a drug test. I need two clean ones to come back." She could see their curiosity. "I passed. The first one."
"Congratulations," both men said.
"What have you been doing this last week?" Schanke asked.
"Attending daily meetings, with some chores taking up the rest of the day. Doing a little cleaning out, tidying up."
"Sounds like you're putting your time to good use," Schanke said. "You and Nick should come over for dinner some night." He grinned at the look of horror on Nick's face. "Nick, I didn't say you had to eat everything, just come over," he teased.
Nick looked sheepish. "Sorry. I'd enjoy that."
Both Nick and Natalie wondered if the joint invitation was the latest attempt to get them together as a couple.
"I'd enjoy it too. Just let us know when," Natalie cheerfully said.
Nick's cell phone rang. He answered it. When he hung up, he told Schanke, "we gotta go. There's a shooting victim down at the docks."
Nick and Schanke arrived at the crime scene. They questioned potential witnesses. Nick kept his eyes out for anything suspicious. When Dr. Tanner finished, they headed for him.
"What do you have?" Nick asked.
"Gut shot once at close range. I'd say he probably lived half an hour or so, but was in intense agony. Mid thirties. Looks out of place here."
Nick used his vampire senses to check out the body and the area, but there was nothing odd.
Nick convinced Natalie that they both needed to take a couple days off the investigation to give their brains a break. This way they'd come back to it fresh and might see something they previously missed when they were too close to it. She agreed once she heard his explanation.
They spent the next week doing anything that wasn't related to their mystery. Natalie did the cleaning of her apartment she mentioned to Schanke. She was tired after she finished the two day overhaul, but felt good about her accomplishment. It was one of the few things in her life that wasn't falling apart.
Natalie knew tonight was the night she'd either be back at work or... she didn't want to think about the alternative. She was dressed for work, in the hopes she'd be able to return tonight.
"Nick, can you check..." She said as she held out her hand to him.
He kissed her pinky before sinking his fang into it and drew a few drops before he withdrew and licked it closed. He studied it a moment.
"It's clean."
"Thanks. Here goes."
Nick dropped Natalie off at the Coroner's Office on his way into the precinct. She was escorted to the infirmary where Natalie underwent her drug test. Terri arrived right before the test results came back. Moments later Terri was handed the results. The nurse left them alone to give them some privacy.
"Welcome back, Natalie. You do know that things will be different this time. You still must attend daily meetings for the next month and get your sheet signed. I need to see it."
Natalie showed her boss her signed attendance sheet.
"Very good. You will not be allowed to do any homicides. You will be restricted to paperwork only until I see you're ready for more responsibility. You will have Chris watching over you. You will be taking daily drug tests for the next month before the start of your shift, and I must see the results before you'll be allowed to start work. If all the tests come back clean, you'll be required to take weekly ones. There will also be random tests during this period. If you refuse you will be suspended without pay the first time and fired the second. I would've transferred you to days, but we're short staffed on the graveyard shift. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
Terri returned Natalie's badge to her, this time it had an even lower clearance level. It was a step above the bottom level. She knew she'd be restricted from most of the building. She was frustrated because the crucial clue could pass them by and neither would know.
Terri escorted Natalie to her new office, glad one of the junior staff had quit a few days ago. If the room hadn't been open, she didn't know where she'd put Natalie.
"This will be your new office until you've proven you can handle more responsibility," Terri said. "When I think you're ready, I'll send you back to your regular office."
"Okay. I won't let you down."
"I hope not." Terri saw Chris approaching and left.
Chris entered and saw Natalie examining her small, windowless office with two desks. It wasn't much bigger than a closet.
"Welcome back, Natalie."
"Hi, Chris. Thanks. I guess we'd better get started."
"Here's the first case," Chris said as she handed Natalie the file.
Their desks were arranged like Nick and Schanke's were. Chris worked on her paperwork while keeping an eye on Natalie.
Later, Grace and Natalie went out for lunch together. They had a nice talk over lunch, partially about work and partially about the rest of their lives.
Near the end of their shift, Schanke and Nick stopped by the morgue to get some reports and ran into Grace. She gave them the good news. Both were pleased Natalie was back at work, and felt sorry for Chris. They knew Natalie would be climbing the walls rather quickly, mostly from boredom.
A week went by and Natalie was bored out of her mind with the cases usually handled by the newest employees as they proved they could hack it. She wasn't even allowed to go fetch reports, lab reports, but had talked Chris into letting her accompany her. Chris agreed, realizing that if she was supposed to be Natalie's shadow, it wouldn't be very good to leave her alone in the office. She hated having to stick that close to Natalie, and could see Natalie hated it even more.